UPGRADE FROM BOYFRIEND TO HUSBAND

Dear IT Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend
5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow
down in the overall performance,
particularly in the flower, gifts and
jewellery applications that had
operated flawlessly under Boyfriend
5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed
many other valuable programs, such as
Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention
6.5, but installed undesirable
programs such as Formula One 5.0, NBA
3.0 and World Cup 2.0.

And now Conversation 8.0 no longer
runs and House Cleaning 2.6 simply
crashes the system. I've tried running
Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but
to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate Housewife

Reply:
Dear Desperate Housewife,

First keep in mind:
Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment
package, while Husband 1.0 is an
operating system.

Try entering the command C:\ I THOUGHT
YOU LOVED ME and download
Tears 6.2 to install Guilt 3.0.

If all works as designed, Husband 1.0
should then automatically run the
applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers
3.5.

But remember, overuse can cause
Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy
Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Late
Night Teh Tarik 6.1.

Late Night 6.1 is a very bad program
that will create SnoringLoudly.wav
files.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-
in-Law 1.0 or reinstall another
Boyfriend program. These are not
supported applications and will crash
Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great
program, but it does have a limited
memory and cannot learn new
applications quickly.

You might consider additional software
to improve memory and performance. I
personally recommend Hot Tasty Food
3.0 and Tongkat Ali 6.9.

Good Luck,
IT Support